Review of “Millions,” by Frank Cottrell Boyce

“Millions,” by Frank Cottrell Boyce is a riveting tale about two boys who suddenly find themselves millionaires, but the problem is that they have no way to spend their money.

Damien and Anthony live in England with their father.  Their mother died some months ago.  The two boys and their father have recently moved to a new home where they hope to start a new life away from the sorrow and memories of their old house.  Damien has a great interest in saints and angels, because he wonders what might have happened to his mother after she died.  Anthony, Damien’s older brother, is deeply interested in money and real estate.

As far as real estate goes, Damien and Anthony’s new home is in a prime real estate location.  Damien, however, feels that their new home is a little bit too nice.  Surely no saint ever lived in a house that luxurious.  Damien feels that mortification of the flesh and self denial is more important than living in a comfort, so he builds a cardboard box hermitage by the train tracks behind the house.

But Damien’s attempt at self denial results in a strange blessing.  One night while Damien tries to pray in his hermitage a train passes and something lands on the cardboard structure, destroying half of it.  When Damien gets over his shock he examines the incoming object and finds it to be a large bag filled to the brim with British ten pound notes.

Damien figures that this must be a blessing from God because his mother died, but it is Anthony that uncovers the real truth.  The British pound is soon to be replaced by the new Euro.  Everyone is turning in their old pounds to get new Euros.  The old pound notes are collected by banks and taken by train to another location where they are burned.

But on the night before Damien’s sudden blessing a gang of organized robbers broke into one of the money trains.  One of the men hid in the train car full of discarded pound notes.  As the train travelled to its destination the thief dropped a bag full of money at each bend in the tracks.  One of those bags of stolen money just happened to drop on Damien’s hermitage.

Damien and Anthony are left in a perplexing situation.  For Damien it is a spiritual quandary.  If the money came from a theft then they can’t keep it.  But there is always the possibility that God used the theft to bless the two boys, so maybe they should keep the money.  For Anthony the only perplexing problem is that of how to spend the money as fast as possible.

The two boys are now the lucky holders of 229,370 pounds.  But in less than a month all those pounds will be replaced by Euros and they will be worth nothing more than the paper they are printed on.  Damien and Anthony can’t trade them in at the bank without causing suspicion, and they soon find that it is hard to spend that much money in a lifetime, much less in a couple of weeks.  When Anthony tries to buy a house with the money the real estate agent laughs him off.  Soon however, both Damien and Anthony tire of buying new toys, treats, and snacks.  They need something real to spend the money on.

Meanwhile danger begins to close in when the robbers come looking for their bag of cash.  They know that a bag was dropped in the area, they just need to figure out who picked it up.

The problem becomes even more compounded when Damien gives a couple thousand pounds to a local charity.  Soon poor people, charities, and scam artists from all over England are flocking to Damien and Anthony’s house to try to get free money as well.

The monetary blessing is turning out to be more of a curse.  Damien and Anthony will have to make an important decision about what to do with all that stolen cash.

“Millions” is a humorous story, with plenty of twists and turns to keep readers entertained.  As I read the book I was slightly perturbed by the way Frank Cottrell Boyce portrayed the theft.  The storyline takes a rather lax stand on the morality of the theft.  In the end everything turns out alright, but for a while I was a little bit worried.

The characters in “Millions” are both funny and realistic.  I think that ultimately their experiences make the reader think about how money affects us and consider how much of a burden it is to be rich.  I recommend “Millions” for all young readers.

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