Review of “The Kind of Friends We Used to Be” by Frances O’Roark Dowell

“The Kind of Friends We Used to Be” by Frances O’Roark Dowell is the story of two twelve year old girls and their changing friendship as they go through middle school.

Kate and Marylin had been best friends for years. They knew everything about each other, and felt that they shared a history because of the time they spent together. But last year they had a dramatic falling out and Marylin gave Kate the silent treatment all year long. This year those feelings are left behind and Kate and Marylin want to be friends again, but it is proving to be more difficult than both girls had originally thought.

Marylin is now a middle school cheerleader, and she hangs around with the popular girls like Mazie, the unofficial leader of the girl’s cheerleader team. Mazie controls Marylin’s life now, even down to her fashion and projects. To stay popular Marylin bends herself to the wishes of Mazie, but this only disgusts Kate.

Kate hates the cheerleaders, with their fashion magazine obsessions, and exclusive attitude. In Kate’s opinion Marylin is the only decent cheerleader, and Kate is afraid that Mazie and the other cheerleaders will ruin Marylin. Kate wants to show that she is different from the cheerleaders. Perhaps then she can get Marylin to recognize the shallowness of the cheerleaders and their frivolous lifestyle.

So Kate makes a daring decision: She is going to start wearing black combat boots and playing a borrowed electric guitar. In this way she will make a statement about her individuality. In Kate’s eyes the silly conformity of the other children is best expressed through their shoes, which are all the same popular sneakers. Kate’s sturdy black combat boots will not only make her stand out but they will also give her a strong platform on which to stand as a individual person. Kate knows that other people might not approve of her new style, but she doesn’t care.

Needless to say Marylin is mystified by Kate’s new choice. What she doesn’t realize is that Kate is just as mystified by Marylin’s complacent attitude to the fact that Mazie and the other cheerleaders are just using her. Marylin makes a goal of making Kate more girly and getting her to give up the guitar and start wearing normal shoes.

What Kate and Marylin don’t realize is that maybe what they really need to do is stop trying to change each other. If they ever want to reclaim their former friendship then they will have to start looking at things in a more balanced way.

I felt that “The Kind of Friends We Used to Be” showed an incredibly detailed sense of the middle school mind and the turbulent changes associated with middle school social dynamics and friendships.

Frances O‘Roarke uses a powerful third person narrator to expose every feeling and emotion that Kate and Marylin experience. In this way even the smallest of sentences speaks volumes about each girl’s personality and aspirations.

I really enjoyed “The Kind of Friends We Used to Be” for this phenomenal character description. The plot is very natural, and has the perfect ending. I was impressed by Frances O’Roarke’s ability to wrap up all the loose threads and leave the reader with a good feeling.

I recommend “The Kind of Friends We Used to Be” to all young readers.

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